It was summer of 2009. I had the same anxiety which they would have felt today. I knew I wasn't deserving enough as I had anyways forced myself to study maths when I only loved statistics part of it, I had literally tried to gulp the theorems of mathematics and the chemical formulas of chemistry. Physics was never something I loved apart from the chapter machines. And so it reflected in my results. The entire equation was wrong. No formula worked to make my percentage touch even the nearest figures to where my siblings stand today. And then I had to do the formality of eating sweets. The highest marks that I was boasting on were in Hindi-97. And all other subjects were embarrassed with some 20-30 marks lesser than that of Hindi. I was anyways happy with whatever I had got. I wasn't surprised. My parents, specially my father understood that I wasn't made for these subjects and vice versa. Ok yes, I was happy that I lost. But the crux was that I had lost to my weaknesses.Deliberately. I remember, for the first time I wasn't feeling embarrassed to face anyone. I was aware about why my father was upset but I as happy somewhere that ok...now I have officially declared that come what may, I wouldn't have to step in those classes. There were several other issues but the reason was that I just didn't do enough, deliberately maybe, to fight that battle of board examinations. It was like I wasn't given the land I wanted to fight for.
But everything kept aside, there was something which I realized later. I had kept my parents deprived of that smile, one proud smile. It took me 4years to bring that back until I got through Xavier institute of Communications. My mother is anyways expressive but it is hard to please my father- that genuine smile of pride on his face is a tough task to accomplish. You know that Siddhant, don't you ?And having said all of this, I just want to tell that you have done that! Today when I spoke to papa, it was the same as it was 4years ago. I remember him sprinting around my college just to explore more. Mummy's voice today was filled with delight. Just like it used to be when I won every singing competition and when she heard that I got through XIC.
I could have said all of this in a personal mail to you Siddhant. But I wanted to share this emotion with every brother and sister who feel responsible for their siblings. Who feel that their siblings might always be looking up to them. And hence, I decided to write an OPEN LETTER TO MY BROTHER. Siddhant- this one is really special. You have not just done it for yourself but also for me. Thank you for being a brilliant student and a son.And of course, a brother. And let me tell you why I am writing this to you today Siddhant, it's because I always wanted to write. Life is beautiful, isn't it?😃
But everything kept aside, there was something which I realized later. I had kept my parents deprived of that smile, one proud smile. It took me 4years to bring that back until I got through Xavier institute of Communications. My mother is anyways expressive but it is hard to please my father- that genuine smile of pride on his face is a tough task to accomplish. You know that Siddhant, don't you ?And having said all of this, I just want to tell that you have done that! Today when I spoke to papa, it was the same as it was 4years ago. I remember him sprinting around my college just to explore more. Mummy's voice today was filled with delight. Just like it used to be when I won every singing competition and when she heard that I got through XIC.
I could have said all of this in a personal mail to you Siddhant. But I wanted to share this emotion with every brother and sister who feel responsible for their siblings. Who feel that their siblings might always be looking up to them. And hence, I decided to write an OPEN LETTER TO MY BROTHER. Siddhant- this one is really special. You have not just done it for yourself but also for me. Thank you for being a brilliant student and a son.And of course, a brother. And let me tell you why I am writing this to you today Siddhant, it's because I always wanted to write. Life is beautiful, isn't it?😃
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